You don’t succeed in business by stabbing a competitor in the [rib]eye

Real life occasionally provides unexpected “teaching moments.” A doozie came to my attention over the weekend, thanks to a restaurant owner in South Bend, Indiana and her terribly misguided idea about how to capture customer loyalty.

Here’s the scenario:

The Carriage House Dining Room was established 35 years ago, building its undeniable reputation for excellence on a sustained AAA Four Diamond Award (20+ years) and numerous Wine Spectator awards, including the current “Best of Award of Excellence.” Its traditional, old world charm only enriches the experience.

The LaSalle Grill, another AAA Four Diamond Award winner in town, also specializes in exceptional food and service, in spite of their only slightly shorter tenure (19 years since opening). The menu is fresh, stellar, and forward thinking (as is their website, which includes a consumer survey for feedback); the approach is contemporary and sophisticated. Another South Bend winner.

Then a new kid came to town…Ruth’s Chris, a well known national fine dining chain specializing in steaks and chops. Understandably, Judy Coté, owner of The Carriage House, sat up and took notice…

..right before she took a massive wrong turn.

On her restaurant’s Facebook page, Judy wrote a post titled “Apples & Oranges,” intended to demonstrate ways The Carriage House stood out from the competition. Instead, her acidic tone took a good idea and drove it straight into the ground, beginning with the second sentence as she came out swinging, claiming that “senior management at Ruth’s Chris would accost [their] mutual customers,” actively instructing people to avoid The Carriage House.

Yes, “accost.” Pretty inflammatory statement…the kind that makes you wince when you read it.

But she didn’t stop there. Next, she decided to take on—or more accurately, take down—LaSalle Grill, a fellow South Bend-based independent restaurant. The barbs were equally sharp and digging, denouncing LaSalle Grill as a restaurant that “serves a Ribeye of unknown designation,” and that their steaks are of “much less quality” (her capitalization, not mine).

Two syrupy paragraphs followed the lambasting, extolling the wonderous virtues of her own restaurant…none of which sounded sincere after the sour grapes served beforehand. The fact the entire post was riddled with inaccurate capitalization and punctuation only reinforced the impression this was written in an explosion of raging, boiling anger.

The lesson?

A tongue lashing comes across as small minded and petty, not effective, educational, or welcoming.

So what do you do next time the competition around town has you crawling the walls?

1. Keep what you write about you, not about them
As an English professor in one of my high school writing classes taught, when you point at someone else to lay blame, three of your fingers point right back at you. Instead of attempting to annihilate other places, talk about what your business provides that’s above and beyond. It will sound true rather than slanted.

2. Guilt yourself into being pleasant
Put a photo next to your computer of your children beaming, your grandkids laughing, or whatever youngster in your world has the greatest power to make you feel good. A written beat down will be more difficult to construct if someone you don’t want to disappoint is looking back at you with a smile.

3. SAVE AS DRAFT
Let me repeat that one: SAVE AS DRAFT. SAVE AS DRAFT. SAVE AS DRAFT. The people who invented the concept did so because they knew humans say dumb things when they’re mad. Even dumber when they’re madder. Save. Walk away. Read what your wrote 24 hours later, during morning daylight hours. You might be surprised by your own tone (and I don’t mean “happily”). Edit, edit, edit.

4. Type like an educated adult
Sentences and proper nouns begin with capitals; inanimate objects don’t (with specific exceptions). Words have proper spellings. Angry thoughts in all caps COME ACROSS LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING AT THE READER (sorry ’bout that, but I needed to make the point). Exclamation points holler “I’m an attention seeker!!! Look at me!!! Look at me!!!”

Translated: If you can’t handle the basics of proper sentence construction and spelling while the blood in your veins boils, step away from the keyboard until you cool down. Otherwise, your narrative voice loses credibility, as do you.

5. Round up an editor
Have a neutral third party proofread it before you publish. I don’t mean an employee or your spouse, since they’re hardly neutral. No…gotta be honest on this one. Forward it to a friend who lives out of town, away from the competition who has you so steamed. Pick the most calm, level headed person you know, not the one you used to picket City Hall with in college.

6. Make yourself accountable to Mom
Ask yourself “How will my competitor’s mother feel if she reads this?” That’s right. If you’re tossing arrows at another business in town, remember the owner is someone’s son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father. As personal as your column feels to you, it will feel ten times that (or more) to them if their name is mentioned.

The marketplace is tough enough for locally owned, independent brick and mortars without them trying to rip each other apart. Rather than tear the guy down, roll out your best welcome mat in written form, then let readers feel your sincerity and warmth.

That’s what makes them walk through the door, not a desire to meet the town tattletale.

(P.S. Since I know you’re wondering, yes, word got to LaSalle Grill pretty quickly. Rather than fire spitballs back, owner Mark McDonnell took the high road, visiting The Carriage House as a diner the next evening…then ordering the infamous ribeye to see what all the fuss was about. No return volleys. No retaliatory comments. Just dinner.)